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Dads: Prepare for arrival
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Dads can be a big help even before the baby arrives. Support your partner’s healthy pregnancy with these tips from the March of Dimes:
- Go along on prenatal visits. Beforehand, write down any questions you have and take them to the appointment.
- Share your partner’s healthful lifestyle changes, such as avoiding alcohol and not smoking.
- Learn as much as you can about pregnancy and parenting though reading, talking with other parents and childbirth classes.
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 And baby makes three: A survival guide for new dads
After months of anticipation, the arrival of your newborn creates many new emotions. As a first-time father, you’ll probably feel joy, love and pride — and you may be a little overwhelmed, too.
That’s because a new baby brings big change, and this can mean a lot of conflicting emotions. For instance, you may feel jealous when your partner’s attention turns toward the baby — a transition from being No. 1 to sharing. Maybe you miss life before fatherhood. Or, you might feel guilty about not enjoying every second of fatherhood. It may be comforting, however, to know that these mixed emotions are shared by many fathers.
Working together is key
No two dads are the same, but some experiences are common for new fathers. During the first months, it’s not unusual to have less time, less patience, less sleep and less sex than you’re used to. This can understandably put stress on a relationship.
Although your focus will be on your new baby, try not to lose sight of the importance of your partnership. Keep it strong with good communication. If you make time to talk every day — even if it’s while doing the dishes — it may help prevent arguments.
A regular “date” with your partner is a good way to stay connected. It doesn’t matter what you do. Even if you can’t find or afford a sitter, you can take walks together with baby in the stroller. Curling up together on the couch to watch a movie at any convenient time might have been an everyday activity before. Now, you might need to plan a bit to find time for the simple things. For instance, record your favorite TV shows, if possible, so you can watch them together while the baby is napping. Try to steal some time together to have fun and enjoy a little intimacy. For the time being, this may mean back rubs or just holding each other. Eventually, life will settle into a routine again, and there will be more time to reclaim your sex life and get back to social activities.
Is communication breaking down? Delegating and sharing duties may help you avoid conflict. For example, work out who’s responsible for late-night feedings or laundry — before resentments build up. Take turns and be willing to compromise. If you do have an argument, try to listen and remember that these difficulties are temporary.
Playing your part
One of the best ways to get comfortable in your new role is to take an active part in parenting. Although baby and mom have a special connection, your role is no less important. Diapering, bathing and cuddling the baby can help you get to know and love your newest family member.
Having a new baby is a joyful experience that changes the dynamics of your family. Even positive life events can bring stress. It’s not realistic to expect yourself to appreciate every moment of it. You and your partner can work together to develop a routine that works for both of you. Explore ways you’ve coped in the past. Also, talk with experienced dads to see how they coped. Use these skills to help yourself and your partner. Remember, many men before you have gone through this — and went on to become great dads.
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Fatherhood 101
Advice is available for dads at myuhc.com. Click “Health & Wellness” and select “Lifestyles.” Then, choose “Parenting.”
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